Preparing for the Holidays with your Special Needs Child

By: Tammy Marie Baker RN BSN at The NBN Group

Having a special needs child can be stressful enough let alone preparing for the holidays. Special needs children are sensitive to environmental stimuli and sensory overload. Keeping the environment festive and friendly can be a challenge. Celebrate your special holiday ( Christmas, kwanza, Hanukkah, Diwali, Lucia Day, or Special holiday of your culture ) safely with your special child. Holidays can be stressful enough with family members you love to pieces but sometimes drive you crazy. If you have a child with special needs, you may not be the only one experiencing anxiety. Siblings, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles and other holiday hosts are often well meaning with misconstrued intentions. They mean well but sometimes just aren't sure how to help.

Holiday Goal: Be flexible! Remember that no tradition is more important than the comfort and happiness of your kids. Holidays are supposed to be special times for the whole family’s enjoyment. Our experiences as children follow us, and have left us with fond memories and fun. We grow up expecting the same for our own children. When we have our own children, we experience these dreams and expectations even more acutely. It’s perfectly natural, then, to experience an emotional roller coaster when presented with the challenge of navigating holidays with a child with special needs. The key is learning to let go and experience the fun. Some traditions may need to modified or changed to accommodate your child’s needs/expectations.

A successful Holiday should be stress free, Flexible, happy and fun!

Sensory Tips:

• “Do you hear what I hear”. Keep a set of head phones for noise blocking handy. Loud noises can over stimulate some children. Holiday music can be loud and frightening to some children.
• “Do you see what I see” flashing lights” can be irritating and trigger seizure.
• Plan to find a quiet place for your child if they need it. Your child may need a quiet place to escape the festivities for a bit?
• Do talking or musical decorations over-stimulate the child or even scare him or her?
• “Do you smell what I smell .“ Being aware that scents and fragrances can trigger Asthma and reactive airway disease. Avoid the perfume section of stores in shopping malls. Children with sensory aversion can be overwhelmed with scents/candles / aromas/ perfumes/ trees which can trigger agitation.
• Autistic children tend to go into shut down mode when over stimulated. Monitor and mentor the festivities to tolerance.

Holiday Fashion:

• Clothes don’t make the child. Comfort is more important than fashion when it comes to your child. Holiday costumes and attire should be comfortable for your child.
• Warm winter clothes maybe irritating due to winter fabric contents such as wool, tags in collars and fabric finishes. Pre wash new clothes to avoid irritants.
• Remove tags to lesson scratching and irritation. Auntie Mary’s brand new sweater maybe beautiful but unintentionally itchy and irritating.
• Watch for redness, irritation and rashes. Remove the irritating garment if noted.
• Diaper check: take the time to change your child while out, be aware that the family bathrooms are larger and more user friendly. Plan ahead with crowds you may have to wait in line.

Holiday Shopping:

• Trips to the mall, stores and shopping centers are not going to be easy with a child in wheel chair and packages in tow. Consider shopping on line
• Hours on end of shopping to you drop is not a fun time for the fragile special needs child; consider a baby sitter, care giver or go out while your Home Care Nurse is taking care of your child.
• Crowded stores are full of people crowded; coughing; sneezing and bumping into other people.
• Practice good infection control. Carry hand wipes/ hand sanitizer/ baby wipes and tissues.
• Let the people in a hurry pass by, take your time and be safe.

Holiday Foods/Nutritional concerns:

• Allergy and Anaphylactic precautions should be considered with exposure to Holiday parties and food preparation. Children with known allergies should carry their EPI Pen with them during holidays.
• Prepare ahead for diet restrictions or Gastric Tube feeds
• Beware of the friendly “Kringle” offering cookies and candy. Tis the season to share and give, but the wrong cookie or sweet could land a little one in the ER; cause chocking or irritation.
• Children may reach out and take a cookie or be offered one unbeknownst to the busy shopping parent or mingling mom at a festivity.
• Tube fed children should have a “GO BAG” prepared with ample supplies to feed them while out and count on extra supplements being on hand.

Deck the Halls with bails of Holly:

• Holiday decorations can be hazardous. Careful consideration with the use of Glitter; tinsel and small objects , due to choking hazards. Holiday cards filled with Glitter are very hazardous to children with Trach's and fragile airways.
• Brightly lit trees, and decorations are fascinating to little eyes and hands. Be mindful of the proximity of the child especially in crowds.
• Decoration/ Ornaments should be kid safe, non-breakable and non-choke able. Not everyone will consider this in their decorations.
• Poinsettias can be toxic. Be mindful of that if your child has contact with the plant.
• Flameless candles can be used for safety. Fireplace screens should be closed for sparks.

Gifts of the season:

• Developmental delays may mean a child isn't ready for gifts typically suited for his or her age.
• Discuss appropriate and ideal gifts (e.g., Is the child learning shapes? A shape sorter could be a perfect gift!) Less is more, fewer distractions /Quality vs quantity special children are easily distracted.
• Look for toys that stimulate imagination and the child can play with or be played with
• Gift safety: check for small parts, chock able hazards. Make sure the toys are safe for your child.
• Be prepared to extend the holiday if the child gets over whelmed. Save gifts to open for another day. Specials kids take their time and relish in the moment of their time zone at times and not ours.

Stranger Anxiety:

• Children are often frightened and over whelmed by holiday characters such as Santa; Elves; snowmen; Easter bunnies and Spooky Halloween characters, mascots etc. •Monitor your child and their tolerance of strangers and festively dressed holiday characters.
• Comfort and console the frightened child, Praise the brave one. Leader of the Band/Be the watcher:
• Carefully oversee the child’s interaction with others, encourage family and friends interaction with you child. Watch for over stimulation and plan diversions when needed.
• Make sure your child is not left out. Coordinate /Plan activities that( he/she) can enjoy also. Make up a game or activity that your child and others can participate in so they don’t feel left out.
• Be aware of what activities are fun and which ones cause discomfort.
• Encourage social interaction while monitoring your child’s tolerance. Get other people involved•Run, run run as fast as you can.. I’m the Gingerbread man. Lock wheels on strollers and wheel chairs; keep safety harnesses fastened; leave anti tips down on back of wheel chairs.
• Use elevators not escalator’s with Kids on wheels. Be safe not in a hurry….
• Beware of the escape artist, children are often frightened by loud noise and will hide
• Children can easily get lost in large crowds, especially little ones
• Keep a close eye on your child. Use the magic tether rule: be with in hands reach of your child.
• Be mindful of what outfit the child was wearing if they are mobile as they may run and hide in a crowd.

Calm/serenity:

• Special needs children are often overwhelmed with holiday Festivities
• Stress is contagious / contains it and enjoys the holidays.
• Keep your calm/ calm your child think calm….
• Take a deep breath, don’t act; don’t react, just breath.
• No apologies needed, no one knows your child better than you and how they will tolerate their environment. Plan Ahead/ Don’t over Plan:
• Too many things is one day can be too much for anyone
• Limit festivities to one/day
• Set time limits so your child doesn’t get over tired or overwhelmed.

Escape Plan:

• Pre plan naps prior to outings if able. Leave early or arrive late; its ok to change plans to accommodate your child .
• Be mindful when too much enough for your child is. Extended hours in shopping and festivity can wear the child out . Look for signs of fussiness or discomfort.

Holiday “Go BAG”:

• Emergency numbers and MD list, Medications
• Extra medical supplies: Trach's/suction catheters/ nebulizers/ ambu bags/GT feed supplies ect…
• Fill your go bag with holiday Joy… favorite blanket; security item or toys/books/snacks and feel comfortable things
• Extra diapers/wipes ; blanket; change of clothes, Bottled water, batteries and extra blankets.